Tag Archives: Humor

Lex Gets Mail

Posted by lex, on October 28, 2008

Sadly, it is not universally approbatory:

i take issue for your biased reporting and statements favoring mccain and trashing obama.  i am a retired usn pilot, two deployments to nam, and know what mccain’s squadron mates say about him…  they dispise him for his PI and nasty temperture.  obama is the clear choice for me.  how come the nam pow are not taking his side???  in closing, since when did nfo’s start taking credit for traps while riding in the aircraft… 

I am dashed. Utterly.

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Nanny state

Posted by lex, on July 10, 2008

Teenage kids push away from Grand Theft Auto games and create a Wiffle ball diamond on what had been, well: Poison ivy.**

After three weeks of clearing brush and poison ivy, scrounging up plywood and green paint, digging holes and pouring concrete, Vincent, Justin and about a dozen friends did manage to build it — a tree-shaded Wiffle ball version of Fenway Park complete with a 12-foot-tall green monster in center field, American flag by the left-field foul pole and colorful signs for Taco Bell Frutista Freezes.

Greenwich neighbors react in dismay, no doubt believing that anything not compulsory ought to be forbidden. Lawyers are summoned.

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You only think your job is a pain in the a**

Posted by lex, on February 13, 2008

Pull this out when you think you’re having a bad day at work. It’s a letter from a deep sea diver to his sister that apparently got airplay on the radio in Louisiana:

“Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother. Last week I had a bad day at the office. I know you’ve been feeling down lately at work, so I thought I would share my dilemma with you to make you realize it’s not so bad after all.

Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first must bore you with a few technicalities of my job. As you know, my office lies at the bottom of the sea. I wear a suit to the office. It’s a wet suit.

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Good news, bad news

Posted by lex, on February 15, 2020

The good news is that my thesis topic has been approved!

The bad news is that I’m now on the hook for a 100-page thesis.

That guy? Who turned me on to this 24-month program eighteen months ago?

Dead.

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Which would have been useful before I went to flight school…

Posted by lex, on February 10, 2007

As usual, the BBC carries some unwelcome but – in retrospect – unsurprising news today:

High-flying men are not as attractive to women looking for love as those with an average job, scientists say.

Perhaps unsurprisingly, the University of Central Lancashire research found the 186 female students asked preferred good-looking men. But within that group, those without top careers were deemed most suitable, the Personality and Individual Differences journal reported. The team said women seemed to feel high-flyers would not be good fathers.

And they wonder why we can’t understand them. I could have been a SWO!!!

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Lex’s wish list

Posted by lex, on November 26, 2006

Other blogger’s put wish lists up. Things from Amazon, DVDs and the like. Widgets. Gewgaws.

Me?

I want the same thing I wanted when I was a little boy: I want a jet.

In fact, I want an A-4 Skyhawk. And you, gentle reader, can buy one for me. For around $149k from EBay,* unless you want to go through the high drama of the actual auction. Which, you know: Be my guest, if that’s the way you’d prefer to handle it.

Oh, and the seller says that I’ll need around ~$750k to make her airworthy. Maybe you can all pitch in on that.

He also says that he “has a line” on a TA-4J cockpit that can be used to “convert a single.” Which is just enough to queer me on the whole enterprise, because that makes it clear that he has no idea what he’s talking about. You don’t just slap a -J cockpit into -C and call it a day. Wouldn’t fit **sigh*

So. DVD?

** 09-14-20 Links gone; no replacements found – Ed.

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No prom dates

Posted by lex, on November 22, 2006

Not for nothing, but reading this article about the Mars Global Surveyor, I couldn’t help but think a kid growing up with a name like the one below pretty much had to go and work at NASA:

“While we have not exhausted everything that we could do, we believe the prospect of recovery of MGS is not looking very good at all,” said Fuk Li, Mars exploration programme manager at Nasa’s Jet Propulsion Laboratory (JPL) in Pasadena, California.

I’m not the kind of guy to throw stones when it comes to naming children – in my part of the country when I was being christened the locals eschewed such conventions as “first names,” preferring to cobble together familials in random and sometimes unfortunate sequence – but “Fuk Li”? How do you introduce a guy like that at the staff meeting and keep a straight face?

Gosh.

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Busy

Posted by lex, on September 25, 2006

Insanely busy. Irrationally so. Firing on all synapses. Every sinew a-twitch.

Busy.

So. Talk amongst yourselves. As though you needed any encouragement from me.

Suggested topic: Close Air Support. How very hard it can be to deliver warheads on foreheads when those forehead are in close proximity to other foreheads whom you are actually trying to protect. And who need it bad, or else they wouldn’t be asking for you to drop 500 pound bombs over the top of them, because really, who needs the stress?

But only they’re locked in mortal combat, like. In the beatin’ zone, but with the roles of beater and beatee not yet clearly defined. But whose situation is not improved if in fact you mid-ID the target or otherwise drop short.

Alternative topic: Raising 15-year old daughters in Southern California – from the parent’s perspective, is attempting to do so a suicidal gesture, or merely self-destructive ideation? Discuss.

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The definition of ambivalence

Posted by lex, on May 5, 2006

 

The good news: Learning that your number one son will join the crew of a guided missile destroyer for his summer NROTC cruise, during the course of which he will work, eat, berth and enjoy time ashore with the enlisted mess.

The rest of the story: Said man-o’-war will be at the time of his joining located in Thailand, where the crew will spend some number of days enjoying the local sights before returning home.

Those who know, know.

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On Vehicle Electronic Navigation

Our car club has had some pretty good drives. Today, we started from Davis, CA and went down what was old US 40 to the farmland, where after a few turns we were on CA 128. That too is a beautiful road, winding through the Coast Ranges, past Lake Berryessa and Monticello Dam down into the Napa wine country.

All in less than 100 miles.

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