Tag Archives: Humor

Lex’s wish list

Posted by lex, on November 26, 2006

Other blogger’s put wish lists up. Things from Amazon, DVDs and the like. Widgets. Gewgaws.

Me?

I want the same thing I wanted when I was a little boy: I want a jet.

In fact, I want an A-4 Skyhawk. And you, gentle reader, can buy one for me. For around $149k from EBay,* unless you want to go through the high drama of the actual auction. Which, you know: Be my guest, if that’s the way you’d prefer to handle it.

Oh, and the seller says that I’ll need around ~$750k to make her airworthy. Maybe you can all pitch in on that.

He also says that he “has a line” on a TA-4J cockpit that can be used to “convert a single.” Which is just enough to queer me on the whole enterprise, because that makes it clear that he has no idea what he’s talking about. You don’t just slap a -J cockpit into -C and call it a day. Wouldn’t fit **sigh*

So. DVD?

** 09-14-20 Links gone; no replacements found – Ed.

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No prom dates

Posted by lex, on November 22, 2006

Not for nothing, but reading this article about the Mars Global Surveyor, I couldn’t help but think a kid growing up with a name like the one below pretty much had to go and work at NASA:

“While we have not exhausted everything that we could do, we believe the prospect of recovery of MGS is not looking very good at all,” said Fuk Li, Mars exploration programme manager at Nasa’s Jet Propulsion Laboratory (JPL) in Pasadena, California.

I’m not the kind of guy to throw stones when it comes to naming children – in my part of the country when I was being christened the locals eschewed such conventions as “first names,” preferring to cobble together familials in random and sometimes unfortunate sequence – but “Fuk Li”? How do you introduce a guy like that at the staff meeting and keep a straight face?

Gosh.

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Busy

Posted by lex, on September 25, 2006

Insanely busy. Irrationally so. Firing on all synapses. Every sinew a-twitch.

Busy.

So. Talk amongst yourselves. As though you needed any encouragement from me.

Suggested topic: Close Air Support. How very hard it can be to deliver warheads on foreheads when those forehead are in close proximity to other foreheads whom you are actually trying to protect. And who need it bad, or else they wouldn’t be asking for you to drop 500 pound bombs over the top of them, because really, who needs the stress?

But only they’re locked in mortal combat, like. In the beatin’ zone, but with the roles of beater and beatee not yet clearly defined. But whose situation is not improved if in fact you mid-ID the target or otherwise drop short.

Alternative topic: Raising 15-year old daughters in Southern California – from the parent’s perspective, is attempting to do so a suicidal gesture, or merely self-destructive ideation? Discuss.

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The definition of ambivalence

Posted by lex, on May 5, 2006

 

The good news: Learning that your number one son will join the crew of a guided missile destroyer for his summer NROTC cruise, during the course of which he will work, eat, berth and enjoy time ashore with the enlisted mess.

The rest of the story: Said man-o’-war will be at the time of his joining located in Thailand, where the crew will spend some number of days enjoying the local sights before returning home.

Those who know, know.

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On Vehicle Electronic Navigation

Our car club has had some pretty good drives. Today, we started from Davis, CA and went down what was old US 40 to the farmland, where after a few turns we were on CA 128. That too is a beautiful road, winding through the Coast Ranges, past Lake Berryessa and Monticello Dam down into the Napa wine country.

All in less than 100 miles.

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Thought for the day:

Posted by lex, on December 20, 2005

 

If you can maintain your sense of humor while the world is going to hell in a hand-basket all around you, then you’re probably a gibbering idiot.

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ROE Violations 1, 2 and 3

Posted by lex, on September 7, 2005

Things that there probably ought to be a law against, but isn’t apparently – aka, examples of a very strange man breaking major rules of engagement at the athletic club:

1) Walking around the locker room in your altogether, toweling yourself off vigorously while humming the crescendo of the 1812 Overture (complete with simulated cannon fire)

2) Meat-gazing

3) Any combination of numbers 1 & 2

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Army-Navy Humor

 

Posted by lex, on November 22, 2004 at 8:48 PM

 

Q: Why do West Point graduates hang their diplomas from the rear view mirror?

A: To justify their handicap parking.

 

Q: Do you know why the Army football team should change its name to the “Opossums”?

A: Because they play dead at home and get killed on the road.

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It’s Sorta Funny

If you compile a list of modern-day computer pioneers, Dennis Ritchie would be on any short list. About the time I was at school, fascinated in the early hours (midnight to 4AM) of playing 3 dimensional tic-tac-toe with my printer (no terminals or screens!) on a now ancient HP3000, Ritchie was working at Bell Labs devising a language – called “C”, that he would with 1-2 others use to devise a portable operating system called Unix.

Which, with its  derivative Linux – today powers virtually every server on the Internet. And “C” is in many of the applications you use that access the Internet. From the driver that talks to your disk drive or SSD to the apps.

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Reba’s Most Excellent Adventure

Once upon a time, 3 sisters were born. Since they were all redheads, they were given the names of some famous red-headed country-music stars,  Reba McEntire, Wynonna Judd and Patty Loveless.

They quickly became part of the family.

While redheads in general are pretty rare – these sisters were destined to become redheads.

They were Rhode Island Reds.

As in chickens.

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