Checking in

By lex, on July 12th, 2006

I must be brief: Cleaning quarters ends in five minutes, at which time 2500 Sailors otherwise profitably engaged in dabbing casually at bulkheads with foxtails, standing stoic watch with broomsticks at port arms or gazing thoughtfully upon knee-knockers with sandpaper limply in their hands will rush to the closest computer terminal and check their stock quotes, whereupon all the bandwidth now available to me in lieu of such activity will gently swirl (in a clockwise direction, this being the northern hemisphere) down into that great yawning abyss known as “Server Cannot Be Found.”

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Excused

By lex, on June 23rd, 2006

Well, interesting reaction to yesterday’s post, and my sincere appreciation to those who insisted that being en banc was just the proper place for me. I did try my level best to promise to be fair and unbiased throughout the process, that being what duty required, but was nevertheless the recipient of either a challenge for cause or peremptory challenge, from, I presume, the defense.

It turns out that during a rather extended deployment aboard USS Last Ship I had served together with one of the NCIS agents who serviced the case, which fact was revealed during a mass Q&A session, and expanded upon during a solo appearance in front of the rest of the court. Also excused were a female lieutenant and a female Information Technologist, second class for reasons upon which I do not presume to conjecture.

The presiding judge was himself a captain, and it would have almost been amusing, our cool exchanges of formality: “Captain,” “Captain” except that of course the case in question was anything but a place for amusement, the crime alleged – but, it must be noted, not yet proven – being both monstrous and unnatural.

I hope you will not consider it less of me, but I accepted my excusal with something very near to relief, for their were to be graphic photos of the alleged crime entered into evidence, and there are some things which, once seen, cannot be un-seen.

So. Back to work.

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The glories of shore duty

By lex, on June 22nd, 2006

Begging your indulgence perhaps over the next several, but your correspondent – having already served this week on a Board of Inquiry for one poor, benighted soul – has now been summoned for to serve on a court martial. It appears that he has won the Navy Legal Service lottery, and of such are the joys of shore duty made.

It has been plausibly forecast that this court martial – about which no further details are known, nor, if they were known could they be publicly shared – will last the rest of this week and all of the next. This is the military equivalent of the OJ Simpson trial, for duration. I’m knackered just thinking about it, and the day job’s not going anywhere, is it?

No. It is not.

So, unless I can get my superannuated rump excused by one or the other JAGs during voir dire – and I’m hoping that rattling the Captain Queeg-style steel balls around in my sweaty palms will do the trick, because I’m not sure, but I’m thinking, that the crocheting needles and knit hangman’s noose might just be over the top – the blogging may well be even lighter, and if possible, more trivial, than even before.

So, until next we meet, I remain your most humble, ob’t servant, etc

 

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A very short sea story

By lex, on June 30th, 2006

I joined the Navy to see the world – And found out that the world was two-thirds water.

Yeah, I know. I’ll try harder next time.

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Everybody into the pool

By lex, on June 21st, 2006

When I was a mid (he said, impervious to the sound of four thousand young people’s groans) there were two qualifications required to get a billet for flight school in Pensacola: An adequate GPA – this was, after all, a competitive process – and 20/20 vision, or better.

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Flight school update

By lex, on June 16th, 2006

Several months ago, a newly commissioned ensign heading down to Pensacola asked for some flight school advice. Your humble scribe offered up what few scraps and tatters he could dredge up from the deep well of ancient history, but what really added flavor to the stew were the comments from other naval aviators, past and present.

Like a good young officer, attentive to his duty, the ensign writes back now to update us of his progress:

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Safe on deck

By lex, on May 16th, 2006

Lord I dislike traveling from east to west. Let my secretary talk me into a 0630 flight out of Sandy Eggo, so that I could get to Norfolk while it was still daylight. Which is supposed to mean something to me, or maybe she’s being solicitous. On account of my advancing decrepitude, like.

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