Category Archives: Tales Of The Sea Service


By lex, on April 28th, 2004

I’ve got to work on some new titles

Two weeks and a bit aboard an Amphibious Helicopter Assault Ship. An LHA, for short.

Home dated 4 28 2004

Not a particularly attractive ship, I know. And coming from a carrier guy, that’s really saying something.

Our exercise was an interesting experience, which I’ll share more of tomorrow, I think. Some of that material will make for good musings.

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Neptunus Lex: Some Recommended Posts By Category

Please note: This is still a work in progress. I am not finished with all of the categories. I have noticed too that in most of the post links, it does not open a second window, so I will have a bit of work to do 😉 

As I am about to finish reposting Lex’s posts, I thought it would be nice to offer some recommended reading by category. Lex had a lot of interesting posts – some humorous, some instructional….Some about life. I am sure that as I read through these I will pick some more categories. 

This is by no means a “definitive list” – I will probably have 1,500 or more posts by the time I am done, but it is a start. And I am certainly not the arbitrator of what should be here; if you have some favorites please let me know! 

I am just going down the Best Of Index


Stories & Essays of the Navy




Naval Aviation and Safety








Filed under Best of Neptunus Lex, by lex, Carroll "Lex" LeFon, Carroll LeFon, Faith, Family, Fighter Pilot Stories, Flying, Funny Stuff, Good Stuff, History, Humor, Index, Leadership, Life, Naval Aviation, Naval History, Navy, Neptunus Lex, Tales Of The Sea Service


By lex

Posted on January 5, 2006


Did you know that service dress blue uniforms shrink in the closet, if you don’t wear them? True story! I had to put mine on yesterday after not having worn them for a while.

You: How long had it been, Lex?

Me: Well I’ll tell you. I was forced to perform a heavy wave-off on my first approach, but I set myself up more carefully for the second (no KY or baby powder required, thanga ver much) and completed the event, after no small amount of grunting and straining and a-holding of my breath. Once in, I found a key in the pocket of the trousers.

You: What key, Lex?

Me: Well just be patient gentle reader, and I’ll tell you.

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Phormer Phantom phlyer pharewell

By lex

On April 3, 2006


Well, with all these goings on about the imminent retirement of the aluminum overcast (not to mention the UK Sea Harrier) you’d think that the current generation of fighter pilots had invented this whole “farewell to all that” meme.

But it’s not just flog-em-into-the-21st century fighter jocks moaning in their beer, what with their beetled brows, low cunning, be-draggled knuckles, imperviously robust self-regard and criminally austere social skills: The S-3 guys are saying good-bye to their bird, as in the not-too-distant past, the flying drumstick and sewer pipe drivers did as well.

But back before the lot of ‘em, the phearless Phantom phlyers said pharewell to their phormer phighter. And they did it in right good style too.

Read on:

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You think you had a hard time making Chief?

By Lex

Posted on March 28, 2006


Try taking the advancement test in this classroom:


”Did anybody remember to bring a #2 pencil?”

Still, you have to admit: The scenery is pretty compelling.



And the story? Well, from the accompanying email:

The attached photo’s are from a Senior Chief NC (ed – career counselor)that is currently assigned to the Combined Forces Command Afghanistan. In her capacity as the senior career counselor for US Navy in Afghanistan, she has done some pretty amazing things…

She called me and told me about the recent CPO Exam process she had to follow in order to get everyone their test. As you can imagine, trying to get Navy Wide advancement exams out to our forward deployed Sailors can be challenging to say the least… but THIS is one for the books.

As you can easily see in these historic photo’s, we have a Sailor, sitting on a rock, overlooking the mountains of Northern Afghanistan, being guarded and taking the CPO exam. He received the exam by the extreme efforts of our Sailors in Pensacola, Millington and the totally unselfish support of this Senior Chief.

I truly believe that these photo’s should be seen by all our Navy as a testament to the total team effort being made to support those in this war.

Please pass my sincere appreciation to all those that have played an important role in ensuring the welfare of this Sailor and all the others here in CENTCOM are a priority.


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Discreet conversation between myself and the urinal during my most recent urinalysis test


By lex

Posted on December 19, 2005


Me: So. I was feeling pretty sorry for myself and then I thought, geez: Sucks to be you.


Me: I mean, my part’s relatively easy.


Me: Well, not so very easy. I mean, I’ve been doing this for nearly 28 years now whenever my number pops, and it’s not like I’ve ever had any fun doing it. You’d think maybe that if I was going to be a pothead, I’d have been caught by now. Ya’ know what I mean?


Me: Crazy pothead captain! Woo-hoo! Look at me, at 45 I just started smoking grass!


Me: Reefer madness!


Me: Anyway.


Me: I wish that observer guy would leave off rattling the change in his pocket. It’s distracting.

Urinal: You going to do something, or you just going to stand there all day waving at me?


Urinal: Punk.


Urinal: I feel so dirty… So used.

Me: Don’t look at it like that, baby.

Urinal: Call me?


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Filed under Best of Neptunus Lex, by lex, Carroll "Lex" LeFon, Carroll LeFon, Humor, Neptunus Lex, Tales Of The Sea Service


By lex, Posted on November 19. 2005


I was trolling the Navy news website this morning, as is my custom, and chanced across this image of a VF-213 F-14D Tomcat coming into the break overhead the USS Theodore Roosevelt, and of course this photo of a D-model kerplunking heavily into the arresting wires (as is their custom) and it all made me just that little bit nostalgic.

You see, I grew up around Tomcats and Tomcat people and although it was hard to love them very much, taken as a whole, there were some fairly good eggs in the F-14 basket who just missed getting Hornet grades out of flight school. And now they’re going away of course, this being their last deployment, victims to the remorseless march of time and modernization in the form of the Super Hornet, FA-18E’s and F’s.

And we should all be just that little bit sad, recognizing as we must that we will be old one day ourselves, sic transit gloria.

So before the Tomcat community dries up and blows away entirely, I just wanted to share this with you – this being the way that one old Hornet driver will always remember you.

(And by the way, many thanks for the memories!)


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