Category Archives: Humor

LILEKS TAKES AIM

by Lex

Mon – September 6, 2004 at 07:55 AM

He only blogs on weekdays – I didn’t know if he’d write today, it being a national holiday, and all.

But he did, and he’s on .

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Tribute and Ransom

By lex, on February 14th, 2012

The more things change, the more they remain the same:

A top Muslim Brotherhood official has warned that any cuts in U.S. aid to Egypt could affect Cairo’s peace treaty with Israel – the latest sign that Egypt’s emerging political forces intend to call Washington’s bluff over the diplomatic dispute triggered by a crackdown on non-governmental organizations.

Egyptian judges have referred 16 Americans and 27 others linked to NGOs for trial, accusing them of using foreign funds to encourage disruptive protests. Among the targeted NGOs whose assets and funds have been seized are the U.S. government-funded International Republican Institute and National Democratic Institute.

Any U.S. aid cut to Egypt, top MB lawmaker Essam el-Erian told the pan-Arabic al-Hayat newspaper, would violate the U.S.-brokered 1979 peace agreement with Israel.

The Jerusalem Post quoted Erian as saying that if the U.S. cuts aid to Egypt, the MB would consider changing the terms of the peace treaty. He is warning that the U.S. should understand that “what was acceptable before the revolution is no longer.”

Erian chairs the parliamentary foreign affairs committee and is deputy leader of the MB’s political wing, the Freedom and Justice Party (FJP).

The FJP was an early critic of the crackdown on the NGOs (although it also said Egyptian NGOs should get their funding from Egyptians). But threats to cut U.S. aid appear to have rallied various factions behind the government, feeding into long-held suspicion of and hostility towards the West.

I just scanned the text of the Israel-Egypt peace treaty of 1979. Tribute is not mentioned, nor is aid, neither in substance nor in amount.

I guess if you want to wrap your head around providing $1.3 billion to a regime that turns hourly more hostile to our interests, it would help to have the intellect of a senior vice president on the Council of Foreign Relations:

James Lindsay, senior vice president of the Council on Foreign Relations, argued that while Americans would naturally be upset if the recipients of their hard earned money are ungrateful, “gratitude isn’t the primary objective of U.S. foreign aid”

“Washington doles out aid primarily based on calculations about how to advance U.S. strategic interests. And the United States certainly has great interests at stake in how Egypt’s political transition plays out even if it doesn’t have a lot of influence over where it ends up.”

Great interest + not a lot of influence = $1.3 billion per year.

They could pay me half that, and I would not just be greatly interested, but fascinated – riveted even – with about the same amount influence. Even more interest with no loss of influence at half the cost?

Hey, these are tough economic times, but I’m willing to do my part.

I can’t help it: I’m a giver. I give.

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The Giffords

By lex, on February 11th, 2012

By all lights, former Arizona Congressman Gabrielle Giffords was a good politician, with no intent towards the customary faint praise that might attach to that description. She was a Fulbright scholar, had a successful business career before turning to politics, and was elected to both chambers of Arizona’s state house prior to going national, where she was three times elected to serve the people of southeast Arizona. While in Congress, she served on the House Armed Services Committee, and its subcommittees on readiness, tactical air and land forces, as well as on the House Science, Space and Technology committee, where she was ranking member on the subcommittee on space and aeronautics. Her husband flew A-6 Intruders in combat during Desert Storm, and is now an astronaut at NASA.

She had the great misfortune of being shot and nearly killed by a lunatic in January 2011. Her process towards recovery is undoubtedly heroic.

And for all that, she will have a US Navy warship named after her:

Gabrielle Giffords, the former Arizona congresswoman who survived an assassination attempt one year ago, is getting a Navy vessel named in her honor.

The Navy said Friday that its newest Littoral Combat Ship, a small, agile surface vessel, will be known as the USS Gabrielle Giffords. The ship’s “sponsor” will be Roxanna Green, the mother of Christina-Taylor Green, the 9-year-old girl who was killed in the Tucson shooting that wounded Giffords in January 2011.

In a statement, the secretary of the navy, Ray Mabus, described Giffords and Roxanna Green as “sources of great inspiration” who “represent the Navy and Marine Corps qualities of overcoming, adapting and coming out victoriously despite great challenges.”

These ships are meant to have 50 year life cycles. Some twenty or thirty years from now, a sailor will walk aboard and ask how the ship came to be named. He will be told that it was named by a nice lady who happened to get shot.

I have only this to say about that: The Army should start naming tanks, and the Air Force tankers.

Take some of the load off, please.

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Worst. Thanksgiving.Promotional.Evar.

November 22nd, 2007 by lex

But pretty dern funny, though.

 

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A U.S. Navy Rorschach Test?

This was a topic today on our F/B page. Which, to me, being in the national news, kinda amused me.

Seems a bit juvenile to me, like something a kid would draw in the 4th grade.  But should an aviator lose his wings over it? Who could demonstrate some precise flying?

The Rorschach test, as you probably know, is a test with no “right” answer. And it is done with inkblots, not contrails.

Although at the time of its creation by Hermann Rorschach, a Swiss psychiatrist, contrails were not available.

The U.S.Navy, caving to political correctness, has officially decreed this etching to be a penis. And declared it to be unacceptable.

In an admittedly unscientific survey among Lexicans, the consensus ran from Egyptian hieroglyph   to…..an advertisement for Arbys.

Personally with the way Congress has been doling out money to the services, I’m leaning towards the latter.

I think the powers at Whidbey caved from political pressure. After all those Growlers have to be fed. And dollars are getting scarce.

I’ll let you be the judge:

Arbys

 

Arbys1a

 

 

 

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Traveling

By lex, on January 28th, 2012

So, your host is so outta here for now, having successfully defended, more or less, our brave socialist comrades and their beloved motherland from the Yankee Air Pirates of Carrier Air Wing SEVEN. And whatever odd bits of wreckage represented by the noble steeds flown by our heroic martyrs there lies figuratively dispersed around the ranges of the Fallon Range Training Complex will be swept up in no time at all by wreckers and malcontents pressed into service for the task. Funded, no doubt, by the Imperialist Lickspittle Running Dog Capitalists themselves, overcome as they will no doubt be by paroxysms of guilt for their savage and brutal attacks, combined with a fierce desire to exploit our precious national resources, the wellspring of the Continuous Revolution.

Which anyway, talk amongst yourselves.

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Scandal

By lex, on January 15th, 2008

One day your humble scribe stirred from his slumbers at an indecent hour, his soul gnawed upon by some unformed dread. There was a strange quiet, as though the sea no longer whispered her sibilant promises upon the outer hull – something was amiss. Sleep was banished, the land of nod rapidly withdrawing over the horizon, the gyros tumbling – there would be no safe landfall that morning. Out of the stateroom then, away from my warm, inviting rack. Out unto the waiting darkness.

Profoundly disturbed in mind, I trod the deck, wandered the passageways. My sense of unease was increased rather than otherwise by discovering that the upperdeck fire watch was not at his accustomed position. We run a tight ship, you understand. We can do no otherwise. How would any of us ever sleep at the end of our labors, unless we knew that others patrolled their assigned stations, stood their watches through the thankless hours of the night?

Troubled, I went to the lower deck to seek out the sounding and security detail. To see if any welcome intelligence could be gleaned from her.

And that’s when I found them. Sleeping together!

Oh, most unnatural, most foul!

There are pictures:

scandal

Look at the guilt in her eyes. And the utter lack of remorse in his. How very characteristic.

Gender is destiny.

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