Category Archives: Humor

Craig’s Most Excellent Birthday

…and a bit of recent Napa County history

From time to time, I have come across some tales that I have felt should be put to paper (or at least digital binary bits), so others can hear of it.

Our car club has a monthly drive that has been popular for some years. The host will plan a route somewhere in No CA and people are advised of it via email. They can show up Sunday mornings or not, no reservations required.

The drive for August was a drive through the back roads of Napa County, culminating at a Napa County institution in St Helena, Gotts Roadside. To call Gott’s a “hamburger stand” does it an injustice, although gourmet hamburgers is the main faire. How many hamburger stands offer a complete wine list?

After all, this is the Napa Valley.

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Lex’s Last Carrier Flight?

To the reader: I came across this on what was a great blog, Ask the Skipper, back in 2016. The owner of the blog soon after stopped blogging, citing the amount of time it took to have a good blog. Looking at the thousands of posts Neptunus Lex made in 9 years, I came to realize just how much effort Hizzoner put into his own blog.

Anyway, I saved the post, and in going through my documents folder last night, got reacquainted with it. If the owner of Ask the Skipper ever comes across this and wants it removed, I will be glad to do so. All credit goes to this unknown author at Ask the Skipper.

In the meantime, I will leave it to you, the reader, to ascertain whether “Tex” is indeed “Lex”.


It was the 90s. The angst-ridden, caffeine-fueled sound of Seattle’s grunge-scene was oozing its way across the American landscape, what with all their flannel shirts, exposed long-underwear, and boots. The kind of boots you’d typically see on a homophobe, neo-Nazi, construction worker, or some combination of the three. I don’t know what Smells Like Teen Spirit, but I have a sneaking suspicion it has little to do with deodorant.

We were underway in the East China Sea, or the Sea of Japan, or the Yellow Sea, or the Western Pacific Ocean. One of those. There was water everywhere, and you couldn’t see land. Of that I am certain.

It wasn’t necessarily his last flight evah. It was his last flight in that particular tour of duty, in that squadron, on that boat. Then again, there was certainly no guarantee of another sea-based sortie. This fella – if I remember the callsign correctly – we will refer to as Tex from this point forward. His callsign sounded similar. It might have even rhymed.

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Filed under Funny Stuff, Humor, Naval Aviation, Navy

Lex Gets Mail

Posted by lex, on October 28, 2008

Sadly, it is not universally approbatory:

i take issue for your biased reporting and statements favoring mccain and trashing obama.  i am a retired usn pilot, two deployments to nam, and know what mccain’s squadron mates say about him…  they dispise him for his PI and nasty temperture.  obama is the clear choice for me.  how come the nam pow are not taking his side???  in closing, since when did nfo’s start taking credit for traps while riding in the aircraft… 

I am dashed. Utterly.

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Filed under Carroll "Lex" LeFon, Humor

Nanny state

Posted by lex, on July 10, 2008

Teenage kids push away from Grand Theft Auto games and create a Wiffle ball diamond on what had been, well: Poison ivy.**

After three weeks of clearing brush and poison ivy, scrounging up plywood and green paint, digging holes and pouring concrete, Vincent, Justin and about a dozen friends did manage to build it — a tree-shaded Wiffle ball version of Fenway Park complete with a 12-foot-tall green monster in center field, American flag by the left-field foul pole and colorful signs for Taco Bell Frutista Freezes.

Greenwich neighbors react in dismay, no doubt believing that anything not compulsory ought to be forbidden. Lawyers are summoned.

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Filed under Carroll "Lex" LeFon, Humor, Silliness

You only think your job is a pain in the a**

Posted by lex, on February 13, 2008

Pull this out when you think you’re having a bad day at work. It’s a letter from a deep sea diver to his sister that apparently got airplay on the radio in Louisiana:

“Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother. Last week I had a bad day at the office. I know you’ve been feeling down lately at work, so I thought I would share my dilemma with you to make you realize it’s not so bad after all.

Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first must bore you with a few technicalities of my job. As you know, my office lies at the bottom of the sea. I wear a suit to the office. It’s a wet suit.

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Filed under Carroll "Lex" LeFon, Good Stuff, Humor

Posting paucity?

Posted by lex on April 4th, 2007

Perhaps.

We’re on a purposeful perambulation, progressively pointing towards Palo Alto. In the pursuit of a pedagogic partnership, prolly.

All in the praise of progress!

It’s at least potentially plausible therefore, that the preoccupations of my profession will proscribe – or at least postpone – prospective parley.

Beg pardon.

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I’ve said it before

Posted by lex on March 20th, 2007

And I’ll say it again – we deserve a nobler enemy:

A US military official has said children have been used in a bomb attack in Iraq, raising fears that insurgents are using a new tactic.

Gen Michael Barbero said a vehicle stopped at a checkpoint was waved through because two children were seen in the back, but was then detonated…

Gen Barbero said there had been also two adults in the car. They parked it near a market, abandoned it with the children inside and apparently detonated it.

The two children died, along with three civilians in the vicinity, officials said.

Pigs.

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And that ain’t the whole of it!

Posted by by lex on March 20th, 2007

Overheard today at the athletic club after work – two teenagers working the lat pull down machine next to me are talking about “getting ink,” and the older one – already exuberantly tattooed in the classic white-bread, suburban kid, tribal style warns the younger guy to, you know:  Think twice – –

Dude you so ought to wait or else you’re going to be so bummed later on. Your tastes just change so much between 15 and 18.

So. True.

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Which would have been useful before I went to flight school…

Posted by lex, on February 10, 2007

As usual, the BBC carries some unwelcome but – in retrospect – unsurprising news today:

High-flying men are not as attractive to women looking for love as those with an average job, scientists say.

Perhaps unsurprisingly, the University of Central Lancashire research found the 186 female students asked preferred good-looking men. But within that group, those without top careers were deemed most suitable, the Personality and Individual Differences journal reported. The team said women seemed to feel high-flyers would not be good fathers.

And they wonder why we can’t understand them. I could have been a SWO!!!

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Everything falls apart

Posted by lex, on Dexember 1, 2006

The center cannot hold:

Two West Point graduates who have been flying Navy jets in Iraq and Afghanistan recently get an easier assignment Saturday – they will swoop overhead in a high-speed flyover at the start of the annual Army-Navy football game.

“I cherish the opportunity to be a Navy officer. But I went to college at West Point and I will root for the Army team,” Lt. Cmdr. Paul Campagna said in a telephone interview. “The ring I wear, it’s from West Point.”

Campagna’s wingman will be longtime flying buddy, Lt. Cmdr. Bobby Baker, 35, whom he befriended at Fort Rucker, Ala., 14 years ago when they both were training to become Army scout helicopter pilots.

Oh, Pooh. How could you? After all we’ve done for you.

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