Category Archives: Humor

Lex Gets Mail

Posted by lex, on October 28, 2008

Sadly, it is not universally approbatory:

i take issue for your biased reporting and statements favoring mccain and trashing obama.  i am a retired usn pilot, two deployments to nam, and know what mccain’s squadron mates say about him…  they dispise him for his PI and nasty temperture.  obama is the clear choice for me.  how come the nam pow are not taking his side???  in closing, since when did nfo’s start taking credit for traps while riding in the aircraft… 

I am dashed. Utterly.

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Nanny state

Posted by lex, on July 10, 2008

Teenage kids push away from Grand Theft Auto games and create a Wiffle ball diamond on what had been, well: Poison ivy.**

After three weeks of clearing brush and poison ivy, scrounging up plywood and green paint, digging holes and pouring concrete, Vincent, Justin and about a dozen friends did manage to build it — a tree-shaded Wiffle ball version of Fenway Park complete with a 12-foot-tall green monster in center field, American flag by the left-field foul pole and colorful signs for Taco Bell Frutista Freezes.

Greenwich neighbors react in dismay, no doubt believing that anything not compulsory ought to be forbidden. Lawyers are summoned.

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You only think your job is a pain in the a**

Posted by lex, on February 13, 2008

Pull this out when you think you’re having a bad day at work. It’s a letter from a deep sea diver to his sister that apparently got airplay on the radio in Louisiana:

“Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother. Last week I had a bad day at the office. I know you’ve been feeling down lately at work, so I thought I would share my dilemma with you to make you realize it’s not so bad after all.

Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first must bore you with a few technicalities of my job. As you know, my office lies at the bottom of the sea. I wear a suit to the office. It’s a wet suit.

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Posting paucity?

Posted by lex on April 4th, 2007

Perhaps.

We’re on a purposeful perambulation, progressively pointing towards Palo Alto. In the pursuit of a pedagogic partnership, prolly.

All in the praise of progress!

It’s at least potentially plausible therefore, that the preoccupations of my profession will proscribe – or at least postpone – prospective parley.

Beg pardon.

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I’ve said it before

Posted by lex on March 20th, 2007

And I’ll say it again – we deserve a nobler enemy:

A US military official has said children have been used in a bomb attack in Iraq, raising fears that insurgents are using a new tactic.

Gen Michael Barbero said a vehicle stopped at a checkpoint was waved through because two children were seen in the back, but was then detonated…

Gen Barbero said there had been also two adults in the car. They parked it near a market, abandoned it with the children inside and apparently detonated it.

The two children died, along with three civilians in the vicinity, officials said.

Pigs.

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And that ain’t the whole of it!

Posted by by lex on March 20th, 2007

Overheard today at the athletic club after work – two teenagers working the lat pull down machine next to me are talking about “getting ink,” and the older one – already exuberantly tattooed in the classic white-bread, suburban kid, tribal style warns the younger guy to, you know:  Think twice – –

Dude you so ought to wait or else you’re going to be so bummed later on. Your tastes just change so much between 15 and 18.

So. True.

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Which would have been useful before I went to flight school…

Posted by lex, on February 10, 2007

As usual, the BBC carries some unwelcome but – in retrospect – unsurprising news today:

High-flying men are not as attractive to women looking for love as those with an average job, scientists say.

Perhaps unsurprisingly, the University of Central Lancashire research found the 186 female students asked preferred good-looking men. But within that group, those without top careers were deemed most suitable, the Personality and Individual Differences journal reported. The team said women seemed to feel high-flyers would not be good fathers.

And they wonder why we can’t understand them. I could have been a SWO!!!

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Everything falls apart

Posted by lex, on Dexember 1, 2006

The center cannot hold:

Two West Point graduates who have been flying Navy jets in Iraq and Afghanistan recently get an easier assignment Saturday – they will swoop overhead in a high-speed flyover at the start of the annual Army-Navy football game.

“I cherish the opportunity to be a Navy officer. But I went to college at West Point and I will root for the Army team,” Lt. Cmdr. Paul Campagna said in a telephone interview. “The ring I wear, it’s from West Point.”

Campagna’s wingman will be longtime flying buddy, Lt. Cmdr. Bobby Baker, 35, whom he befriended at Fort Rucker, Ala., 14 years ago when they both were training to become Army scout helicopter pilots.

Oh, Pooh. How could you? After all we’ve done for you.

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No prom dates

Posted by lex, on November 22, 2006

Not for nothing, but reading this article about the Mars Global Surveyor, I couldn’t help but think a kid growing up with a name like the one below pretty much had to go and work at NASA:

“While we have not exhausted everything that we could do, we believe the prospect of recovery of MGS is not looking very good at all,” said Fuk Li, Mars exploration programme manager at Nasa’s Jet Propulsion Laboratory (JPL) in Pasadena, California.

I’m not the kind of guy to throw stones when it comes to naming children – in my part of the country when I was being christened the locals eschewed such conventions as “first names,” preferring to cobble together familials in random and sometimes unfortunate sequence – but “Fuk Li”? How do you introduce a guy like that at the staff meeting and keep a straight face?

Gosh.

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Busy

Posted by lex, on September 25, 2006

Insanely busy. Irrationally so. Firing on all synapses. Every sinew a-twitch.

Busy.

So. Talk amongst yourselves. As though you needed any encouragement from me.

Suggested topic: Close Air Support. How very hard it can be to deliver warheads on foreheads when those forehead are in close proximity to other foreheads whom you are actually trying to protect. And who need it bad, or else they wouldn’t be asking for you to drop 500 pound bombs over the top of them, because really, who needs the stress?

But only they’re locked in mortal combat, like. In the beatin’ zone, but with the roles of beater and beatee not yet clearly defined. But whose situation is not improved if in fact you mid-ID the target or otherwise drop short.

Alternative topic: Raising 15-year old daughters in Southern California – from the parent’s perspective, is attempting to do so a suicidal gesture, or merely self-destructive ideation? Discuss.

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