Category Archives: Funny Stuff

Lunch

By lex, on August 9th, 2010

Durgin Park, she said. You won’t regret it, she said.

Durgin Park – “Established Before You Were Bahn.”

Lunch1

“The special today is the lobstah roll,” the waitress said. Her honor being a lady of certain age. “It comes with beans, fries and cole slor.”

Cole slor?

How could I resist?

lunch2

In faith, I had never had a lobstah roll before. I didn’t know how to eat it. I asked my neighbors if they were from Bahston, and they said no. “New Hampshah.”

Does one carve it up, or what, I asked, pointing delicately with my fork.

“You pick it up and eat it,” said the patriarch. A look of abiding contempt in his gimlet eye. “Whaa you from?”

Parts else, I was forced to admit.

Try the Indian Pudding, I was told. The waitress set it down, cautioning, “Cahful, it’s haht.”

Which it  had ice cream atop.

lunch3

“This is lo-cal,” I stated more than asked. “Right?”

“Let’s put it this way, hon: You won’t have no prahblem sleeping.”

“What’s in it?”

“Cahn meal, molasses and brown sugah.”

Right glad am I that this is but a short stay

Back To The Index 

Leave a comment

Filed under Best of Neptunus Lex, by lex, Carroll "Lex" LeFon, Carroll LeFon, Funny Stuff, Lex

Parenting for Pilots

By lex, on July 17th, 2010

Sent along by an occasional reader –

Some of you may have wondered how I disciplined my children to turn out so well. Most people nowadays think  it improper to discipline children, so I  tried other methods to  control my kids when they  had one of ‘those  moments.’

Since I’m a pilot, one that I have found  very effective is for me to just take the child for a flight in the  plane during which I say nothing and give the child the opportunity to  reflect on his or her behavior.

I don’t know whether it’s the steady vibration from the  engines, or just the time away from any distractions such as TV, video games,  computer, iPod, etc.

Either way, my kids usually  calmed down and stop misbehaving after our flight together. I believe  that eye to eye contact during these sessions is an important element in  achieving the desired results.

I’ve included a  photo below of one of my sessions with my son, in case you would like to use  the technique.  It also works well in  cars.

ParentingForPilots

 

Back To The Index 

 

Leave a comment

Filed under Best of Neptunus Lex, by lex, Carroll "Lex" LeFon, Carroll LeFon, Funny Stuff, Humor

Then and Now

By lex, on June 23rd, 2010

Then:

A 91-year-old who said she was the nurse photographed being kissed in Times Square in New York at the end of World War II has died.

Edith Shain said she was grabbed and kissed by an unknown American soldier on 14 August 1945.

The picture by Alfred Eisenstaedt was taken as people celebrated Japan’s surrender, and it became an iconic image.

The identity of the sailor remains disputed.

Ms Shain died at her home in Los Angeles on Sunday, her family said.

Now:

The victim of a decades old sexual assault – one which occurred in broad daylight at Times Square in front of hundreds of onlookers – succumbed to her injuries yesterday.

The suspect, who could not be identified, escaped. He is suspected to himself be a victim of post-traumatic stress disorder after years of combat.

ThenAndNow

Back To The Index 

Leave a comment

Filed under Best of Neptunus Lex, Carroll "Lex" LeFon, Carroll LeFon, Funny Stuff, Humor

Mojo

By lex, on June 15th, 2010

So, shortly before 9:30 PM last night I was sitting in the living room chatting with the Hobbit and the Kat when I felt my chair move slightly.

“Earthquake,” I said to the ladies, who looked down at me in surprise.

“What?” the Kat asked.

And then came the real deal.

Mojo

A 5.7 down by the border, apparently.

It lasted a few moments, and after the shaking was done the ladies’ surprise turned to amazement.

“How did you know?” they both asked, looking at me with wonder and – dare I say it – a kind of awe.

“I felt the pre-shock,” I answered truthfully.

“Oh,” came their reply, and I was back to being the old guy in the chair again.

Which is too bad, for a man in his own house could use the occasional bit of wonder and awe.

Back To The Index 

Leave a comment

Filed under Best of Neptunus Lex, by lex, Carroll "Lex" LeFon, Carroll LeFon, Funny Stuff, Humor

It’s funny because it’s true. Sorta.

By lex, on December 15th, 2006

dwas makes the funny at the expense of A-4 pilots. I’m assuming he means people who flew scooters in the fleet. Not us younger types. Anyway:

He was a ragged looking old man who shuffled into the bar that afternoon. Ragged , fat old geezer, walked like he had no feeling left in his peripheral neuropathy diabetic legs, his arthritic hands shook as he took the “Piano Player Wanted” sign from the window and gave it to the bartender.

“I’d like to apply for the job,” Ken said.

Continue reading

Leave a comment

Filed under Best of Neptunus Lex, by lex, Carroll "Lex" LeFon, Carroll LeFon, Funny Stuff, Humor, Lex

Somebody else’s sea story

By lex, on June 26th, 2006

So anyways, when SNO came back from Everett yesterday, one of the questions I asked him was what his running mate was like – a “running mate” is the enlisted Sailor who’s primarily responsible for making sure that his mid doesn’t hurl himself to his death going down the scuttle, knows where to muster, sleep and eat, etc. I still remember my running mate from youngster cruise in 1979 – STG2 Caz Rampey was his name. He still owes me money.

“Oh, he was a good guy,” replied SNO, adding, “kind of a joker, though.”

“Really, how so?”

Continue reading

1 Comment

Filed under Best of Neptunus Lex, by lex, Carroll "Lex" LeFon, Carroll LeFon, Family, Funny Stuff, Humor, Lex

Domestic Irony

By lex, Mon – July 4, 2005

It was all for the asking, a couple of nights ago. A tangled knot of the great unwashed showed up at our doorstep, full of bluff boisterousness and juvenile humor. That’s right, four teenaged boys. None of whom, it might usefully be pointed out, were related to your humble scribe. We watched a DVD together! And, there was an upside:

As we hunkered in one room, we were joined not just by the lumpen teenaged masses, but by the Biscuit herself, making a charity appearance in the family room. With her actual family. For an extended period of time.

Continue reading

Leave a comment

Filed under Best of Neptunus Lex, by lex, Carroll "Lex" LeFon, Carroll LeFon, Family, Funny Stuff, Lex, Neptunus Lex