Heavy Heart

I haven’t been around here much recently; time just moves quickly.  But today – time stood still and in fact, took us all backwards to March 6/7, 2012.  Pinch posted, on Facebook, the link to the final NTSB report on Our Beloved Lex’s accident.

Go here.

No real surprises.  Just the final words that mark the end of Lex’s life.  They are harsh words to read, to be sure.  Harsh in their finality and in the way the day conspired to rob a family of their anchor and a ragtag bunch of friends their cherished brother-in-arms and brother-in-heart.

I just wanted to be sure that those of you here, who don’t belong to Facebook, had the opportunity to read (or not) the final report.

 

http://dms.ntsb.gov/pubdms/search/hitlist.cfm?docketID=53108&CurrentPage=1&EndRow=15&StartRow=1&order=1&sort=0&TXTSEARCHT

One Down…

Ding dong! One of the twitchy bitches is dead and the other is in custody.  My beloved city of Boston can sleep easy once again.

We listened to the action live thru a police scanner streaming online.  It was exciting and terrifying.  Thinking of the neighborhood being evacuated, the fear of the homeowner who called police about suspicious activity at their boat; and then learning that the murdering terrorist was hiding in their own backyard.  And had probably been in the neighborhood all day long.

The moment the scanner announced “Suspect in Custody” was some of the best words we’ve heard in a very long time.  Thankfully we went to bed before P.BO gave his speech; just don’t think we could have dealt with listening to him say “I” and “me” more than giving credit where it is due.

To the LEOs of Boston, Watertown, Cambridge, the State Police and the FBI.  Those men & women likely didn’t get any rest or sleep from Monday afternoon until sometime today.  Tirelessly working to bring these monsters to justice.

And I find it very interesting that, once the suspect was in custody, he was given the best medical care possible – from the very people he and his brother killed, the first responders.

That’s what being American is all about.  An ideal that clearly escaped these terrorists.

Of course I am under no illusion that this is “over”; they didn’t act alone.  Someone was their puppetmaster who viewed them as expendable from the start.  These 2 had no escape plan; hell one of them was partying with his college friends 2 days after the bombing.  The plot is always thick; it will be interesting to see just how thick in the coming weeks.

My City, Our City

Harvard Train Bridge, Charles River, Boston

My beloved city – under attack.

My beautiful, quirky, irritating Boston.

3 dead so far, nearly 200 hundred injured. Many of them will be crippled for life. And for what?

Lest we forget that yesterday was Patriot’s Day – the annual observance of the battles of Lexington and Concord which marked the first battles of the American Revolution.

Boston is the cradle of this entire country; our freedoms were fought for on the same streets we wander whenever we go there.

These are not coincidences to the bombings, not in the least.  Time will tell of course and the disinformation brigade aka the MSM are already at work spreading lies and half-truths.

While reporters are working to get the big story, the first responders were running towards the danger – as is always the case.

Customs House Clock Tower, Boston

My prayers are for my beloved city, the dead, the wounded and their loved ones.  My prayers are for the entire city…

In the days to come we’ll learn the truth or at least as much truth as we can.  We know far less than we think at this moment but the one thing I do know unequivocally is this:

Boston and the people who love her will continue to stand tall and survive.  Our entire country’s future was founded on those very streets and shores.  It will endure.

And the monsters responsible – will be hunted and brought to justice.  My preference of the kind of justice meted out may differ with those in charge…

Cross-posted at Noodling On It.  Images taken by me.

XF-11

Since I’m home sick for the next several days, I’m watching favorite movies that I haven’t seen in a long time. Up for today is The Aviator. And as I watched this scene I was vividly reminded of just how crazy test pilots had to be.

I read that Hughes committed many oversights in safety for this flight – he shouldn’t have been the test pilot, he retracted the landing gear among other failings. But as I watched this scene (and I am completely aware of the other thoughts we’re all having…) I had a new-found admiration for Howard Hughes. I’ve seen the film many times of course but for some reason – seeing it today is reminding me that while he was a deeply troubled man, he was also brilliant beyond his time.

In fact, as a result of his hospitalization from the crash, hospital beds were redesigned from his complaints. Many of those designs are still used today.

Remembering

One year has passed.

365 days without him.  Without his words, his wisdom, his humor.

Capt. Carroll “Lex” Lefon.  Died in service to his country one year ago today.  He died doing what he loved, what his soul was called to do.

Fly.  Fast.  Really fast.

It was with such joy that he began his 1st career again after trying a 2nd career as a desk jockey.

That did not sit well with Lex, nosiree.

Qualifying the kFIR he would fly adversary for the TOPGUN aviators.  The stuff that legends are made of.

Except that Lex was already a legend.  To those of us who read his blog faithfully – his writing was the stuff of genius.  How many times did someone say “write the damn book”…

Write one he did.  Rhythms will someday be published; and a community left bereft at his passing will likely gather as we always promised we would – someplace “in the middle” so that we could all get a first edition and have it signed by the author whilst plying him with Guinness.

Lots of Guinness.

It is so tragic that a man like Lex – who lived 10 lifetimes in one short one – still had so much living to do.  But then again, adrenaline-junkie that he was, whose to say that he didn’t live all that he was supposed to.  He lived life on the tip of the spear – from fast jets to fast cars to fast motorcycles.

And while I feel the sorrow of his loss keenly, my thoughts turn to his beloved family and I realize that my grief can only pale to insignificance in the face of theirs.

I lost a good friend – no – I lost the brother of my heart one year ago today.  The world changed once when I met Lex and I became a better person for it.  The world changed again when he died – and I like to think that I remain that better person.

Lex showed us all how to live a life made of dreams.  Lex showed us how to live a life of integrity, principles, honor and valor.

He was courageous to the end – landing a stricken jet with no fuel on board in deadly cross winds.  It is a testament to his skill as a pilot and his determination as a human being that he got that kFIR on the ground at all.

Lex had grit – true grit.  He served his country with dignity, he loved his family with passion and he shared so much of himself that I often wondered if he’d break from all the stretching.

When I woke up today – I felt a terrible weight pressing down on me.  In those few precious moments after I opened my eyes, the world was as it should be.  Then my mind engaged and I realized – no, it’s not.  It all became clear and I knew why that weight was there.

And as the day has gone by – as I have read tributes from others – I feel that weight lifting.  Yes, Lex lived a life of possibilities.  And it is those possiblities that we should celebrate – both in his life and to welcome them into ours.

So it will be tonite that I will turn to a private memorial page on Facebook and celebrate the life of this extraordinary man.  We miss him terribly and yet he left us a powerful legacy of focus and dedication to ones dreams.

Lex – you are with the angels, I’m sure of it – showing them how flying is really done.

Make It Stop

For the love of god is there no end to this man’s stupidity:

V.P. BIDEN: Well, the way in which we measure it is—I think most scholars would say—is that as long as you have a weapon sufficient to be able to provide your self-defense. I did one of these town-hall meetings on the Internet and one guy said, “Well, what happens when the end days come? What happens when there’s the earthquake? I live in California, and I have to protect myself.”

I said, “Well, you know, my shotgun will do better for you than your AR-15, because you want to keep someone away from your house, just fire the shotgun through the door.” Most people can handle a shotgun a hell of a lot better than they can a semiautomatic weapon in terms of both their aim and in terms of their ability to deter people coming. We can argue whether that’s true or not, but it is no argument that, for example, a shotgun could do the same job of protecting you. Now, granted, you can come back and say, “Well, a machine gun could do a better job of protecting me.” No one’s arguing we should make machine guns legal.

No one could ever claim that Biden is smart but this…this just takes the cake.  Seriously?

Shoot a gun indiscriminately thru a door to “deter people coming”.  And just who could those “people” be?

• UPS delivery
• USPS mailman
• Neighbor
• Kid from next door
• etc…

As bad as his original advice from a week or so ago about just firing two shotgun blasts from a porch – which is highly illegal no matter what the circumstances are – this just goes beyond it all.

The worst part is that the sheeple will lap this up.  We don’t live in interesting times anymore folks.

We live in perilous times when someone with the mental acumen of a hammer is next in line to the presidency.

One Year

It’s coming, we all know it’s coming.  We dread it and we know it’s coming.

Time will pass, it is the one constant in every one of our lives.

In just 26 days it will be one year since our Beloved Lex was taken from his family, his friends and the world.

As with his death – we The Lexicans (via FB) would like to celebrate his life with another virtual party on Wednesday March 6.

We will gather at FB (and here) at 8:00pm EST; we shall toast a great man with Guinness, Jameson, Woodfords Reserve or whatever type of libation suits you best.   We shall toast his family and honor them with our words.

We will honor Our Lex – as he remains, at least for me, a strong guidepost for a good, happy and well-lived life.

Join us – if you aren’t on FB…this is another plea to think about it.  Join 2 days before the party and leave the day after – tis no matter.  But if that isn’t your cup of tea, we’ll be here – perhaps a general post with a running stream of comments (though the pictures that will inevitably shared at FB make things far more fun).

The Lexicans – for strength in our memories.

18

The number of years since my beloved dad died.

It just can’t be that long.  That much time, that many experiences, can’t have just slipped by under cover of darkness.

But – they have.

That’s him over there at the tender age of 18.  He was handsome, my dad.  Quite the ladies man if the signatures in his yearbook are anything to go by.  And yes, I do have that amazing treasure – the yearbook from his senior year in high school.  In fact daddy remained a ladies man until he died.  He was so charming, so charismatic, so – beloved.

Even today, people who knew him will remark that my dad was … cool.  And so he was.

And I miss him.  I miss the smell of him – he never wore cologne and yet he always had a unique scent that was a combination of shaving cream, cigarette smoke and gasoline.  I know it doesn’t sound particularly appealing and yet – to me they are as aromatic as lilacs on a summer day. Today even one of those smells will take me back to my 8 year old self, rushing out of the house on a Saturday morning with daddy, driving to the “garage” where he’d hang out with his car buddies, perhaps supervise the latest restoration work on his newest toy.

Daddy used to say that fine men went to good schools and programs to become mechanics, autobody techs and the like – and he felt it was his duty to support them in their chosen careers.  I don’t think my dad – as much of a car fanatic as he was – ever even changed his own oil.

He was a man among men – always.  He would enter a room full of strangers and leave a room full of friends; friends who would think nothing of laying down their lives for him. Daddy instilled deep loyalty in anyone he met; and the beauty of that was it was deserved.

He had his faults just like the rest of us and yet – he was an honorable man who lived a life of hard work and hard play.

Daddy and I had that special bond that fathers do with their daughters; and ours was more special than most.  We communicated differently than others – I was so much a part of him, so very much his and his alone, that we were inside each other’s thoughts alot of the time.  Oh we’d have our disagreements – and daddy let no one else in his life go toe-to-toe with him like he’d let me.  Every so often, he’d let me win.

I look like him, my mannerisms are his – I think like him, I write like him.

And I was – and will always be – his princess.

Saudade indeed.

Silence

At 9:30am this Friday the State of CT will be observing a moment of silence in honor of the victims of the Newtown shooting.

Wherever you are, whatever time zone you are in … please observe this moment of respect for the most innocent of victims.

This happened 50 miles from my home and while I know no one affected directly I feel – hollow.  I feel like my home state has been wounded at the heart, which it has; the entire country has.

A moment of silence isn’t much but it is what we can do collectively on Friday.

Sorrow

My heart is beyond broken.  For a sleepy town not unlike so many others in CT, particularly my own.  Newtown, CT is a small town with, like my own town 50 miles away, a strong sense of community, a nearly bucolic setting of woodlands and small neighborhoods.  The kind of place that looks so peaceful nothing bad could ever happen there.

Evil came to Newtown, CT yesterday and it will take a very long time for us to recover; the families and survivors may never recover. They will find a new-normal to live in but everything they knew before yesterday is – gone.

The gentle lights of 20 children were turned off before their families really got to know who they would be.  The lights of 6 adults were also turned off, stealing from their own children the leadership and guidance they should have as they grow up.

My heart is so heavy it feels like a lead weight in my chest.  And I know that millions of others feel the same way.

Tonite The Oracle and I will be lighting the Advent Wreath at Mass.  We will be dedicating those lights of hope and promise to the victims of the shooting.  It is a small thing but it will be a real thing; over 300 people will say the same prayers at the same time as we make that dedication.  In fact I suspect that many church services all over the world this weekend will be said for the victims.

Spare a moment of silence for the victims and their families.  If you can please send a card to the school:

Sandy Hook Elementary School
12 Dickenson Drive
Sandy Hook, CT 06482

A card and the thoughts expressed can heal a heart even if for a moment. And the community of Newtown, CT can use all the healing it can get right now.