Posted by lex, on July 12, 2006
I must be brief: Cleaning quarters ends in five minutes, at which time 2500 Sailors otherwise profitably engaged in dabbing casually at bulkheads with foxtails, standing stoic watch with broomsticks at port arms or gazing thoughtfully upon knee-knockers with sandpaper limply in their hands will rush to the closest computer terminal and check their stock quotes, whereupon all the bandwidth now available to me in lieu of such activity will gently swirl (in a clockwise direction, this being the northern hemisphere) down into that great yawning abyss known as “Server Cannot Be Found.”
And as for that description of cleaning quarters, it’s no disparagement of those who make up Our Navy’s Finest to note that one hour with a broom, or foxtail, or sandpaper in hand is probably at least 15 minutes too much. At least.
So, briefly: Fear not for your humble scribe, as he is well taken-care of, being rather an old fellow not to mention leading an inspection team. While this is not conducive to making fast friendships, still less to free and easy conversation at the wardroom table with strangers, it does, nevertheless have its privileges.
And, for what it’s worth, having satisfied his career flight pay gates many moons ago, is in no danger of losing flight pay, actual flight status not withstanding. So rest your heads about that. You may now go back to talking amongst yourselves.
Except! Be advised, all you who would go down to the sea in ships, that it is yet a young man’s game, with many tall, steep ladders to climb between the wardroom on the 2nd deck and the bridge on the O-8, should the need arise. Oh yes, and bring your reading glasses when you come out, for if you should manage to forget them at home, they don’t sell them out here, so they don’t. More along these lines, hard-won wisdom based on the Crucible of Experience, I will share with you, at a time and location to be determined, of my choosing, and subject of course, as always, to your mutual consent.
Finally! Because you may have missed it, Mr. James Lileks (it’s very nearly a screed) offers you more reasons to think somewhat the less of Mr. Joel Stein, who had a bit of rough patch when an American flag was found to be planted on his yard over the 4th of July holiday. Towards the bottom, like – keep scrolling.
Also! I note with surprise that all the usual suspects have denied involvement in the Mumbai bombings. Which, huh. Guess we’ll have to look elsewhere, and I wonder if OJ’s found the real killers yet, because maybe he could help.