Why it’s weird

By lex, on February 5th, 2007

Well, so I’ve opened the can on the edged weapons thing, and now it’s out in the open. The thing about it swords is that they can be a kind of obsession. Sure the katana and armor combination would make an interesting conversation piece in the recess just off the front hall – Japan? Served there. Wonderful experience. Kurosawa, etc. The trains.

And clearly a gladius hung on the wall would make a compelling reminder that for as long as we have known it, civilization had to be defended from the depredations of barbarians by men who were sometimes forced to shed the veneer of polite society and respond to brutality in kind.

By why stop there?

Is not the swept hilt rapier **a wonderfully evolved specimen of the kind? And if we are to have an example of effete but lethal continental elegance, a weapon built for genteel tip work hanging on our wall, does not the Celtic blood ask – nay: Demand! – a basket-hilted broadsword for your true hacking? And if that’s to be our measure of effectiveness, does not a 15″ khukri have as good a claim as any other, not to mention the savings that are in it?

Because it’s not like you can walk about with a Claidheamh Mhor hanging on your hip these days.

Without being thought, you know: Weird.

And all of those take pride of place even before we come to your essential cavalry sabre, nautical cutlass or companion dirk **.

Now, having assembled that store of weaponry – and being nowhere near done, by the way – you are left with only two options: Keep ‘em all in the closet somewhere, where they’re unlikely to do any actual damage to people you care about – unless you stumble in there yourself one day, sleepy-eyed from the hard night of previous… homework, yeah, that’s it.

Or, you hang ‘em all over the walls of your house and the dinner guests start to wonder if they’ve been invited to share supper or season it. Which I suspect might tend to stifle conversation, rather then enhance it.

** 07-26-2018 Original link gone; replacement found – Ed.

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Filed under Best of Neptunus Lex, Carroll "Lex" LeFon, Carroll LeFon

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