By lex, on July 24th, 2006
The weekend, that is: Spent a half hour longer than I really ought to have blogging on Saturday morning, and by the time I was done, that long hill ride I was all set to do was right out! On account of the unnatural swelter and fetidity.
Global warming, no doubt.
Saw Clerks II * with the Hobbit on Sunday afternoon – I remember enjoying the original immensely: It will not speak to my taste, I fear, to report that as one of the first movies I ever purchased for My Very Own. Except perhaps if I also say that the other was Dr. Strangelove – How I learned to stop worrying and love the bomb. Which I still insist is one of the Best. Movies. Ever.
First review on that IMDb site for the original Clerks:
“Clerks” can be realistically related to, and is funny which is why it’s a great movie. The low budget is irrelevant to how enjoyable the movie is. It’s the amazing script that made the movie, and some solid acting with some excellent deliveries.
“Can be realistically related to.” Yoda, it must have likely been to write that. In the open. Where people could to see.
Parsing that last bit, and most recently victimized by my Engineering Risk/Benefit Analysis course – shudder! – I can’t help but think that the probability of a great movie must be determined by PAS (where PAS equals the probability of an amazing script), given Pssa (some solid acting), and (a decidedly smaller probability still) Psed, or the probability of some excellent deliveries. More simply:
PGM = PAS | (Pssa and Psed)
Ecce: The elusive formula for cinematic success! Who said you can’t learn anything in college? Grateful movie producers and industry executives may ring the bell on the sidebar to the right.
You (impatiently): So. How was the movie?
Me: Ah. I’d say you could realistically to skip it. Catch it on netflix, maybe.
There are some movies – you have seen them: Spectacles! – that you’d maybe need to see on the silver screen. Clerks II, alas, does not number among them. Tijuana donkey scene or not.
Me: I can’t give all the details away, gentle reader. Because that simply isn’t done in the elite movie review circles in which your humble scribe moves. While in any case, the aforementioned scene – of which I shall say not one whit more! – did in fact cause an elderly lady and gentlemen to our immediate left to reluctantly but decisively come to the conclusion that Clerks II was not at all the thing, nor in any way what they were expecting on their Sunday afternoon at the cinema show.
You: They decamped?
Me: They did. Herself jumping out of there like her seat was on fire and a-gripping of his hand, while her gentleman friend followed somewhat more reluctantly, like. Which could have been due to the darkness, his obviously diminished eyesight, and a general reluctance among the People of a Certain Age to trip and maybe fall down, breaking something fatal.
You: We shall be old one day ourselves.
Me: If we are lucky, and some of us have a head start.
You: Right. In the meantime, you and the Hobbit merely averted your eyes?
Me: Just so. On account of our rock-like fortitude. And the fact that, having grown up at the tail end of the 60′s and the heart of the 70′s, we have probably slouched just that little bit further towards Gomorrah than had those of finer tastes, who at any rate sought their entertainments elsewhere.
You: And was the weekend over too soon?
Me: It was, and you must have been peeking at the post title.
And the traffic coming to work today was very like a 30-minute knife fight, the kind of thing that leaves you huffing and blowing and counting more gray hairs. It was one of those insufficiently rare SoCal commuting experiences during which one, or another, or many several drivers, suddenly and simultaneously imagining through some kind of hormonal chemistry that they have received a monstrous affront to their collective driving dignities, grant themselves free rein and – beyond all reason – the assumption of professional skill and reflexes which the daily carnage across the land gives lie to. They then take it upon themselves to drive to work like the car was stolen and the rest of us mere pixels on a video game screen.
You: Idiots then?
Me: No, no – Idiots are the ones driving slower than me. These were maniacs.
You: Ah. And what else was there to turn yet another of your hairs irreversibly gray?
You: Not to mention the expense.
We now return you to your regularly scheduled blogging.
** 05-01-18 Links updated – Ed.