Friday Musings 01-13-2006

By lex

January 13, 2006



This may meet or exceed the previous record for brevity. Just so you know.

Where to start?

There are at least 10 11-year old girls in the house right now, on consequence of there having been a girl scout meeting for the Kat’s gang, or claque, or junta, or whatever they call themselves, augmented just at supper time by another set of 11-year olds, who came to house for an entirely separate social reason. You would not credit the noise they can make, gentle reader, when you mix them together, nor the frequency at which they can make it.

give. OK?

Apparently not, since the assault continues.

Their ostensible leadership is downstairs at the better table, sipping white wine (well, they call it sipping) and discussing the ins and outs of school district changes. Which is exactly as interesting as maybe it sounds. To me.

But wait, there’s more: Because the previous stimulus is guaranteed to push your humble scribe right to the very brink of madness, but may, or may not hurl him bodily down into the abyss itself, the Biscuit just made a regal entry with her own retinue of ne’er-do-wells, surfers, slackers and race-you-to-the-bottoms. These come in various flavors and genders and I?

I am casting about for a stout rope and narrowing a critical eye upon the banister atop the stairs. Because it might just hold. It might.

But on the other hand, a broken leg and a rope burn would be so very hard to explain.

You cannot be as tired about hearing me complain about the Sandy Eggo traffic patterns as I am living them: Here, on the 5, during the morning commute, with safety distances between vehicles that come with reaction times that would reduce a Cray supercomputer to tears, other drivers feel no compunction about pulling into the space between two cars (moving at 80 mph or better, mind) that I would probably pass up when looking for a place to parallel park.


Note to those who stop in at other people’s blogs and feel compelled to teach what they expect – demand! -to be an adoring audience, eager to savor the sweet taste of every pearl of wisdom that drips from their honeyed lips: That the current administration has done nothing but shred the Constitution since they got to office, that the war in Iraq was a terrible, costly mistake which you had been against right from the get go, in the run up to which the President undoubtedly LIEDand anyway where are the WMD’s? Huh? – You may be surprised to find that we’ve heard those arguments before. That’s right. No epiphany, no revelation.

It may surprise you even more to discover that we still disagree with your analysis, no matter how strongly you feel about it, and no matter how many links to former-military-officers-turned-politicians you can cite.

And, à propos of nothing at all, if in doing so you feel compelled to claim that an obscure freelance journalist really has done more for his country (in wartime) than many a battalion of soldiers, you can expect those of us who actually know what the combat power of a battalion of soldiers is to disagree with you, while simultaneously finding you personally disagreeable.

And that’s before you have the chutzpah to accuse us of moral corruption, not knowing anything more about us that what you’d like to be true.

And one more little thing: We who wear the uniform of our country, and who have sworn an oath to support and defend that country’s Constitution also wear your contempt as a badge of honor. Just curious: How do you wear ours?

We’re back, thank you very much.

I have determined that Systems Engineering is going to be hard.

Just thought I’d get that out there, maybe. Along with expressing my deep satisfaction that I’ve actually sold a sweatshirt. So there.

Yes, I can see my future rolling out in front of me, even now: At this rate, I’ll have money for lunch by 2007.

Maybe even supper.

Of course want one. But will I get one?

I will not.

“Why?” you ask.

Because I’m so damned strong, gentle reader.

You should have known that. What were you thinking?

But I will tell you that Jobs has definitely pissed me off this time. If it had only been twice as fast, that would be one thing.

But four times? Now I can’t even buy last year’s model (at a discount) without feeling woefully inadequate, even contemptible.



Well that wasn’t so short at all, was it?

I hope you appreciate it. What I do for you.

Have a great weekend!


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Filed under Best of Neptunus Lex, by lex, Carroll "Lex" LeFon, Carroll LeFon, Family, Humor, Lex, Life

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