Wisdom of the Ages

By lex, on September 29th, 2010

Or maybe a bit of a smile, anyway, courtesy of occasional reader dwas:

Both optimists and pessimists contribute to society. The optimist invents the airplane, the pessimist, the parachute.

If helicopters are so safe, how come there are no vintage helicopter fly-ins?

Death is just nature’s way of telling you to watch your airspeed.

There are only three things the copilot should ever say:
1. Nice landing, Sir.
2. I’ll buy the first round.
3. I’ll take the fat one

(ed. In fighter aviation it goes a little differently – the only things a wingman should ever say are:

  1. “Two.”
    2. “Mayday.”
    3. “Lead you’re on fire, eject.”
    4. “I’ll take the fat one.)

As a pilot only two bad things can happen to you and one of them will:
a. One day you will walk out to the aircraft knowing that it is your last flight.
b. One day you will walk out to the aircraft not knowing that it is your last flight.

There are Rules and there are Laws. The Rules are made by men who think that they know better how to fly your airplane than you. The Laws (of Physics) were ordained by nature. You can, and sometimes should, suspend The Rules but you can never suspend the Laws.

The ideal pilot is the perfect blend of discipline and aggressiveness.

The medical profession is the natural enemy of the aviation profession.

Altitude is speed. Speed is life. Never run out of airspeed, altitude, and ideas at the same time.

Ever notice that the only experts who decree that the age of the pilot is over are people who have never flown anything? Also, in spite of the intensity of their feelings that the pilot’s day is over, I know of no expert who has volunteered to be a passenger in a non-piloted aircraft.

He who demands everything that his aircraft can give him is a pilot; he that demands one iota more is a fool.

There are certain aircraft sounds that can only be heard at night.

The aircraft limits are only there in case there is another flight by that particular aircraft. If subsequent flights do not appear likely, there are no limits.

Flying is a great way of life for men who want to feel like boys, but not for those who still are.

An old pilot is one who can remember when flying was dangerous and sex was safe.

Son, you’re going to have to make up your mind about growing up and becoming a pilot. You can’t do both.

There are only two types of aircraft: fighters and targets.

A good landing is one you can walk away from. A great landing is when the airplane can be used again.

New FAA Motto: We’re not happy until you’re not happy.

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Filed under Best of Neptunus Lex, by lex, Carroll "Lex" LeFon, Carroll LeFon, Humor, Lex, Neptunus Lex

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