By lex, on November 29th, 2006

It’s been just that kind of a day, and it’s very regretful I am that I have not have been able to dose you with your daily until now, and all that follows being small beer indeed on account of the kind of a day that it’s been.

First! Was the annual flight physical, and we are truly grateful so we are that it was a short form, that being an kind of unexpected benificence to a person of our own superannuation, but there it is. Oh, you must read line nine, keeping ever in mind that there are no “G”s or “Q”s, no matter how it might appear. Never a problem with the distance vision, but for the near type I basically made it up. And there’s the hearing test of course, administered by a certain lady who in a different time and place would have been wearing a Sam Brown belt over her black uniform and might happily send you to the ovens, singing as she went. There’s the colorblindness test, and as always I can’t help wondering whether or not after 28 years or so they’d have smoked it out by now, if I was truly colorblind but I guess you can’t be too safe. Then there’s the intraocular test, where the friendly young corpsman asks you to snuggle up and report the green light in sight, before blasting you straight in the eye with a puff of air the like of which makes a sensitive man like your humble scribe rock back like John Kennedy in Dallas. Followed shortly afterwards by the seaman recruit tasked to gouge your forearms with his needle, groping about for a likely vein, and they never appear to get two chances because each one that I have had in the last few years is doing it “live” for the first time. Tomorrow, if I’m very lucky, a fetching young flight surgeon will tell me that I’m actually in pretty good condition, considering.

Then! It was the paid work, and not like it’s going anywhere without you, is it? It is not. Meeting with vendors and meeting with consultants and never a moment to call your own until it’s time to steal away and get cranking on the final project for Systems Optimization, all algebraic calculations, decision variables, constraints, objective functions and excel spreadsheets, and if I’ve made it sound easy then I’ve done it a disservice and my head still hurts.

And in the midst of all of that I’m haunted by one of those silly troll people who really ought to get out more. Left a comment in my box just t’other day, and branded me a coward if I didn’t publish it.

I wonder what you will write about when your heros, George Bush, Dick Cheney, Rummy, and Condi are put on trial for High Crimes & Misdemeanors, then treason, then crimes against humanity, war crimes, etc. You people are all savages who deserve to be on the receiving end of the policy you have supported.

I’m sure being the typical neocon coward that you are, you will not post this comment.

I’ve told you, I think, how I feel about trolls. Especially them as can’t spell, much. “Heros,” forsooth.

On the subject of cowardice, I’ve got nothing to prove to you my friend. You’re a hater, and I’ve got no time for it. Do it on your own bandwidth, I’m paying for my microphone.

Grow up,


He wrote me back again, more agitated than ever, like:

Name-calling? Speaking of growing up… And having no time for it…

Oooh, and you pay for your crappy website. You must be so proud. It must be nice to filter out comments so it looks as though everybody agrees with you. It kind of reminds me of some people who prescreened the media and the questions that were asked prior to any press conferences so when the camera was on, the “right” questions got asked and there was no sign of any dissenting voices. Now who could I be talking about?

As to why I call you people unAmerican traitors, savages, and subhumans, this is what you support whether in your words, actions, or voting record:

You support torture

You value perceived personal safety over freedom

You don’t believe in democracy or how you win elections

You blindly support a corrupt Administration and their actions while refusing to believe that they have misled us on anything

([Lex’s] ed. all over in that previous bit were a bunch of links to a collection of leftish/leftist/lunatic [and those groups are non-inclusive] blogs, which I suppose was meant to substitute for original thought, and I thought I’d spare you the profoundly stupid silliness of it.)

I don’t give a rat’s ass if you publish my comment, I just find it funny that neocons are so into censorship. G-d forbid you would ever have to rationally deal with any dissenting voices. And that is why you are a coward.

p.s. Those who do not remember the past are condemned to repeat it. Remember that.

Which cut me to the quick, especially that bit about history there at the end since I’d never thought of it in quite that way. But fearful that I’d offended in some way, I wrote him back:

Brother, you should seriously consider another form of therapy.

I deal with dissent. Read the comments in this post   from a British journalist who disagrees with me on nearly every fundamental point with respect to the war in Iraq. He doesn’t get “censored” – by the way, governments censor, individuals merely express distaste – because he doesn’t come into the discussion imputing bad faith or “cowardice” upon those with whom he disagrees. That’s dissent, rationally expressed and rationally dealt with. That’s how grown ups talk. You my friend – “I’m Doug and I rule”, with your I-know-you-are-but-what-am-I’s, your propensity to fling poo about the room while quoting banal bromides with an air of significance and import – you could take some lessons.

Do you have any idea what an absurd caricature of a internet troll you are? You don’t want to dissent to anything – apart from the fact that you think me a coward, un-American, savage and subhuman, you don’t even have anything to say: You have yet to make a serious, rebuttable point, choosing in your latest post to link to a bunch of echo-chamber idiots flouting tinfoil hat conspiracy theories, as though this was a “me-too” shorthand for your personal convictions. You judge me based on your presumptions about what I think on any range of issues and because you believe I disagree with your own cherished political preferences. Color me unimpressed.

Instead of dissenting, what you want to do is come into my house and shit on my floor and then it appears that you expect me to applaud for you for doing so. That’s simply not going to happen.

If you’re trying to provoke me Doug, you’re wasting your time. I don’t care what you think about me, and the more you write, the less I think about you. From the tenor of your comments, I judge you to be 23 years old at the most, or perhaps an especially awkward and socially retarded 25-year old. That means that I had sworn an oath to support and defend the US Constitution before you were born and was flying combat missions off aircraft carrier decks – at night – before you were wearing long pants. You can call me a coward if you like, or even question my patriotism without laying a glove on my self-esteem. I’m just not that into you.

Hoping you feel better some day,


Which, now that I reflect on it, may not have been quite the conciliatory tone that I was reaching for but ah, well: Lost chances.

So now it’s back to work, gentle reader, and I hope – given the foregoing – that you forgive me my previous, uncharacteristic absence.


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Filed under Best of Neptunus Lex, Carroll "Lex" LeFon, Carroll LeFon, Neptunus Lex, Politics

2 responses to “Nuts

  1. Pingback: Index – The Best of Neptunus Lex | The Lexicans

  2. Pingback: Epilogue – Neptunus Lex | The Lexicans

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