From my Air Force Friend …
The setting was the O’Club at Kadena AFB… circa late 60’s or early 70’s.
The participants were an SR-71 Blackbird crew, a Captain and Co-pilot from Continental… and two young school teachers for the US Government schools in Okinawa (actually, the last two should be called targets of opportunity).
Ain’t no way to say it nicely; but ‘Round Eyes’ were a hot commodity in those days… especially unmarried ones. Our two young ladies were enjoying the unabashed and total focus of the four gentlemen sitting at the two tables on either side of them… ‘Fight’s on’!
Since it was a ‘Dirty Shirt’ bar… our two young studs were in flight suits, hepped up a little from their latest ‘overflight’ mission… fearless and bullet proof… they surveyed the opposition and knew they were already in the saddle… or soon would be… no real threat on the scope.
The Captain, while still handsome… was a bit long in tooth, a former Spad driver he was… his co-pilot was of the jet age, having flown ‘Scooters’ on little boats, until opting for the ‘Good Life’ that the airlines promised.
Our two young damsels, were almost immediately overwhelmed by the two young ‘flat bellies’… in their form-fit flight suits… covered with patches… they represented all that was good… about virile, young, American manhood. They were in awe.
Even though the good Captain had bought their drinks… it was obvious our two SR types had the upper hand. One of the young ladies, looking at a patch on the shoulder of one of the two studs, asked what it meant… the patch was red (compliments green, Air Force guys know about such things). In the middle was the word ‘Habu’… and just above it was a sinister looking snake. Above it was written… Lockheed Super Bird SR-71… just below that was… MACH 3 +… and just below that was written… 80,000 +.
‘Studley do right’; knew it was time for the kill… he told the young ladies that ‘Habu’ was the nickname of the airplane he flew… since they were new on the island, they weren’t familiar with the notorius venomus snake that lived in the jungles surrounding them.
At this point the prettier of the two sweet young things asked, ‘What does match three mean’? Our steely eyed young buck knew it was all over but the shouting… loud enough for most of the club to hear… he firmly, but politely corrected her mis-pronunciation and explained that Mach was a technical word that stood for the speed of sound… ‘Mach 3+ means I’ve flown over 3 times the speed of sound’… and in a moment of sheer brilliance, he looks at the two airline types and says to the Captain, ‘Hey old man, you ever been above Mach 3’? In a humble mumble… the good Captain acknowledged he had not.
Studley knew her next question… and before she could even ask… he went on to explain that the 80,000+ stood for flying above 80,000 feet. And then Studley went too far… in a final move intended to seal the deal… Studley, erect and steely eyed, looked at our humble Captain and said what he should not have said; ‘Ever been above 80,000 old man’?
Our humble Captain looked at Studley; then ignoring his protagonist… he cracked a half smile, stared at the two young sweet things, looking for signs of understanding for what he was about to say… He then very calmly and eloquently said, ‘Only on my W-2 form hotshot, only on my W-2’!
Studley had no idea he’d just been smoked! He had no idea; that the other gender, no matter what degree of blondness, or air filling of head… wouldn’t know Mach from match… but they all knew what a W-2 was… it was a ‘woman thing’… it was innate… it was in their bones… and shortly it was over… our good Captain then said, ‘Why don’t you ladies join us for dinner’? An agreement was quick in coming and as they left for parts unknown… Studley sat there stunned… having no idea what went wrong.