There’s A Checklist For That

There you are. Aloft in your mighty aerial conveyance, full of vital information (amongst other things) and suddenly the urgent need arises to communicate some especially vital, useful and generally good thing through the ether to a waiting world.  You reach down to adjust Mr. Marconi’s Magic Box, press the necessary push-to-talk switch and you got…

Nothing.  Nada.  Zip. Bupkis.  Words not only fail you, you can’t even remember what it was you were going to say.  To whom.  Why you were going to say it.  Your face goes red, you start to stammer, “uh, uh, uh,” over the radio waves emanating from your aerocraft and your head feels like it’s alight.  If you are especially unlucky, you have others aboard, also watching with mixed feelings of amusement and schadenfreude at your rapidly deteriorating dilemma.

You have HELMET FIRE!

Relax.  There’s a checklist for that:

9 Comments

Filed under Airplanes, Flying, Humor

9 responses to “There’s A Checklist For That

  1. Hogday

    That was bloody funny! (but what’s a below milf?)

  2. HD – I think that says MIF (no L). Don’t know what MIF means but you best be careful with MILF…just sayn’.

  3. Bill Brandt

    During my flying days I had helmet fire a couple of times. When flying into Travis AFB on their invitation (no I didn’t get to use the BIG runway reserved for the pros but the LITTLE one of the Travis Aero Club) – anyway I was particularly anxious prior to pushing that button lest I embarrass myself in front of the entire USAF 😉

    But it went OK. WWWW – who who where what

  4. Patrick

    MIF-Minimum In-Flight Grade aka passing mark(s)

  5. cg23sailor

    Just goes to show, Pilots can’t do anything without a checklist, including doing milfs… I mean MIFs.

    (ducks out quick as assorted flight gear is thrown my way)

  6. Hogday

    I’m terribly sorry about my gaff. I’m English and don’t always have my reading glasses you know.

  7. oldskydog

    MIF?
    Whatever happened to “BA” or “UNSAT” or “AFU” or just plain
    “DOWN”?
    I guess I’m dating myself, but MIF sounds a litlle touchy- feely.
    I like the checklist, though,
    There must be a Falcon Code now for “My helmet’s on fire”.

    • Noneya

      Oldskydog,
      Those all exist still…you know the Navy/Marine Corps keep the old so the “Crusties” don’t complain but infest the others not flying with good idea fairies for the not always welcome or needed new. It’s 200+ years of tradition unhindered by any progress! 😉 ‘New’ being MIF has been a term for the last 15 years. 🙂 MILFs are still welcome anytime….a MILF for the last 3 months in Milton via course rules next to one of the vfr checkpoints posted “1stLtxxxxxxx HT-XX, I LOVE YOU! Hearts and an American flag were on the banner which was the size of 8 black cotton bed sheets. For all to see, strait jacket sold separately!! But seriously, God bless America and bless her sincere and crazy heart. For anyone who thinks that the spirit of Naval Aviation is dead or the wild and restless are resting need not worry. There isn’t much rest for the wicked just more discretion so that ‘Mom and Dad’ (aka NOT JOPA/LPA) don’t see!

  8. Well, seems liket things have improved in Milton since 66. The ladies didn’t openly advertise and a few farmers were suspected of shooting at T-28’s performing sumulated low altitude engine failures into their fields……maybe because of the occasional actual LAEF.. At least, that was the assumption for the occasional bullet hole in the airframe found on postflight.
    No appreciation for NAVAV..

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